I found out last week a former colleague of mine, married with two young kids was recently separated from his wife this past winter. It came as a surprise and saddened me. I had thought their marriage was strong. Then yesterday, I had a chance to discuss it with another friend who was closer to both of them and that conversation bummed me out even further.
I almost feel like I’m spreading gossip just by writing this down but I want this memory to serve as a reminder to never take my marriage for granted.
From past discussions based on his perspective, they were committed and in it for the long haul. Then boom. Turns out his wife had known for over two years that she wanted out but nevertheless went ahead and had a second child with him before ending it on her terms. He never saw it coming.
That’s cold. I’d be pretty upset too if that had been me. I like to see things in a positive light so I like to think she slowly fell out of love and had problems bringing the subject up until it was too late and she was past wanting to rescue the relationship. I can even relate to that perspective as it does mirror my past relationship with F. But at least I had the good sense not to have taken some marriage vows or bring a child into the mix. That’s what I can’t wrap my head around. I can understand that people don’t always grow together in what they want out of life and sad as it may be, that’s life. But why bring a child into that situation if you know you want out?